For everyone that's curious, but don't want to ask
Let’s talk about something people are curious about…
but don’t always get clear answers on
Backdoor play.
First. If this is NOT your thing, cool, carry on friend. No pressure. But I wanted to share the information because I know how many wonder... or try it without know what's what.
And there’s a LOT of mixed information out there...
and honestly? Some of it just makes things more confusing.
So let’s simplify it:
What’s actually normal… and what’s not?
✅ Normal: Being curious (even if you’re unsure)
You don’t have to be 100% “into it” to be curious.
A lot of people feel somewhere in the middle, interested, but hesitant. That’s completely normal. Also, being curious about something doesn't mean you have to try it, it just means you are looking for more information.
✅ Normal: Starting slow (like… really slow)
This is not something you rush.
Exploring gradually, using smaller sized toys, and taking your time is exactly how it’s meant to be approached.
There’s no prize for going fast, and often going too quickly is what leads to discomfort and negative experiences.
✅ Normal: Needing more comfort and support
This area doesn’t self-lubricate like others.
So using lubricant isn’t optional, it’s critical.
More comfort = more relaxation
More relaxation = a better experience
And lubricant is a MUST to protect the delicate tissue. We also suggest after care products, and lubricant specifically designed for anal play to make sure everything is pleasurable and fun.
✅ Normal: It feeling different (at first)
It’s a different type of sensation.
Sometimes unfamiliar, sometimes surprising—
but that doesn’t mean something’s wrong.
Your body is just learning something new.
✅ Normal: Not loving it immediately (or at all)
This one matters:
You don’t have to like it.
Some people love it.
Some people don’t.
Some people need time to decide.
All of that is valid. But here's my hope for you, because experiences with butt play can vary wildly. Don't compare what was essentially a planned "oops wrong hole" experience with one that you prep for, plan for and execute with intention.
Now let’s clear up a few things that are not normal 👇
🚫 Not normal: Pain
Discomfort from something new? Maybe.
Legit pain? No.
Pain usually means:
going too fast
not enough lubrication
not enough relaxation
Slowing down solves most issues, and depending on whether you are trying with a toy, or a partner, you may need to start smaller.
🚫 Not normal: Pressure to try it
This should never feel like something you “have to” do.
Exploration should feel:
comfortable
curious
and completely on your terms
🚫 Not normal: Skipping prep
Preparation makes a huge difference.
Taking a little extra time to relax, warm up, and ease into things
completely changes the experience.
🚫 Not normal: A big "mess"
This is one of the biggest mental blocks.
And the truth is, most of the time, it’s way less of a concern than people expect.
But if it’s on your mind?
There are simple ways to make it a non-issue like using an anal douche before hand, and making sure you umm... cleaned out the pipes.
Here's the deal. Backdoor play isn’t about doing something extreme.
It’s about:
going at your pace
staying relaxed
and keeping things pressure-free
When you approach it that way…
it becomes a completely different experience.
If you’ve been curious but hesitant—
that’s actually the perfect place to start.
Slow, simple, and on your terms always wins 🙌
- Marsha's Good Vibes
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